Under the Stars

 

It was pure drudgery, that’s what it was.

Every time she thought about it, it swung her into a pensive mood, a mood that was as grim as death, as depressing as summer South Cali rain. She knew she couldn’t shake it. There was no possible way it could be done, unless her Love Angel suddenly found its way home. And she knew that would never be.

“Danie?” came an inquisitive voice.

It was in their voices, too. She could hear the reverberating cadences of love and over-the-top giddiness weaving in and out of them like waves. Sickening it was. She swung around in her roll top desk chair and tried to look diplomatic and unaffected despite the fact that she was aching, tired from another sleepless night.

She looked up and found her half-sister, Emily Bullock, staring at her. She, too, had the voice of the others, expressing their romantic happiness. No surprise there; even the lonely ones were effected.

“Is Jessica back from lunch, Emily?” Danie asked, looking at a framed picture of Shannon and Abigail and flipping a pen idly in her hands.

Emily shook her head. “She told me she might be late coming back.”

Figures, Danie thought. She nodded slowly, trying not to divulge her feelings. “Do me a favor okay? Hold my calls. I’m taking my break.”

Emily’s eyes were anxious about her, but, in her efficiency, she knew it was unprofessional to worry. She would inquire when the time came; the time had not come yet. Danie knew this and was even distressed about herself. Knowing that Emily became panicky readily, she stood, purse on shoulder, and ruffled her young secretary’s brown hair.

“Don’t worry about me so much, Em,” she told her gently. “I’ll be alright.”

Emily nodded wordlessly, and Danie exited, keeping her unearthly composure and poise. She got on the elevator and went down to the parking garage, still looking like the picture of stolidity. That is, until she got to her car, where she proceeded to, in an unbridled manner against the steering wheel, cry her eyes out.

 * * *

 Walking unannounced into Quatre Winner’s office had a sobering effect on Danie. Seeing him in his work environment produced a sort of strange epiphany, one she did not expect.

“Quatre?” He looked up and his assistants also, giving her a quizzical yet pleased look. Danie, in her black suit and long hair pulled back, was a very comely sight to see, in spite of the episode in her car.

Quatre’s appearance, however, was flawed unlike it usually was. He must have thrown off his tie in a fit of ardent frustration. A couple of buttons were loose, revealing some skin. It was during that one look over that Danie had realized how and why Crystilline Heiwa Yuy had fallen in love with him. Despite the fact that he was harried, he didn’t look that bad.

The men around him exerted a strong, balanced presence. One of them by the name of Rashid looked upon her curiously, yet at the same time he was very aware of why she was there.

“Danie,” Quatre greeted her, dropping his pen and letting his work become utterly useless for a moment. Danie came forward calmly, cautiously, coquettishly, and the assistants seemed to draw closer out of instinctive suspicion.

“I just wanted to stop by see how you were doing,” Danie explained lamely. “I can just–”

“No, of course not!” insisted Quatre. “Stay. It’s alright.” He then looked to his entourage. “ You guys can go take your lunch break. We can discuss this later.”

And so they dispersed, leaving Danie, Quatre, and Rashid. Danie frowned.

“Did I walk in on something important?” Danie wondered. She had a sudden feeling of apprehension as if she had been an innocent bystander in a gangster movie.

Quatre waved his hand as if to expel the thought. “Don’t worry, Danie. We all need a break sometime or another.”

“Master Quatre,” Rashid began. “Are you sure that we can handle this in a timely manner?”

“Yes Rashid,” Quatre replied patiently. “Don’t worry about it. This is something we can handle.”

Rashid nodded once, and then excused himself for lunch. Danie sat down in the nearest chair to her. For some inexplicable reason, the effect of Rashid leaving the room was far more than she had expected. It was as if she was in disguise in fear of being caught by someone prominent and dangerous, and her nervous tension was all so suddenly alleviated. She sighed heavily and placed her face in her hands.

“Has it been that bad?”

Danie removed her hands. Her cheeks were red and damp with tears. Quatre noticed this and instantly knew the answer to his own question.

“You know, it’s quite astonishing to recall that just this time last year, I had been grumbling about not having anyone,” Danie mused aloud. “Now I’m married and, in a way, still am as lonely, you know?”

Quatre nodded. He understood quite well.

“At least you had a Valentine’s Day with Crys,” Danie continued, voice rueful. “I had been too caught up in my feelings to have one with Heero.”

It was at that moment that Quatre laughed. Danie looked up at him incredulously, wondering what in the world could be so damn funny. It was disconcerting almost. In the back of her mind she asked herself, ‘Did I just slip and say something stupid?’

“Quite ironic you should mention that,” Quatre said, still laughing. “Heero probably doesn’t even know that you don’t know.”

Danie’s eyebrows furrowed in bewilderment. “Uh…know what?”

“About the garden.”

  * * *

 On February 14 of the previous year, the girls of the Tiger House and one or two of their buddies had been in a strange, distinct position. As a matter of fact, not only was it vexing, but it was also very disrespectful for all that they had been seen as over the years.

“We have to do what?!” exclaimed the loud, ghetto voice of Nicole Smith.

In front of them, sitting at a new glass desk provided by the funds from their last play, was James Harper, the owner and events director of the Pendleton Auditorium. The look on his face was smug. Both Jessica and Danie, who were on either sides of Nicole, wanted to turn his face into an ashtray.

“It’s just an advertising idea,” James explained calmly and smoothly. “We wanted to boost our sales a little. The pre-play Valentine’s party might help.”

The leader of the group (at that time anyway) frowned at the idea. “I don’t know, James,” said Moira-Selene Thomas dubiously. “I mean since you have to pay to get in–”

“Yeah and I ain’t got no money either,” broke in Nicole. She tossed her long, no-weave hair. “You know how broke we people get.”

His voice came again, smooth and supple, like a venomous, entrapping snake. “You won’t have to pay for anything but your costume.”

“Costume?!” Danie and Jessica cried in unison.

“You’ve got to be joking,” piped-up Jennifer Dunne at the same moment.

“I think it’s a great idea,” James said. It was obvious he didn’t care what they thought. “You guys can go together as your characters.”

Nicole shrugged. Jessica and Danie, however, looked incensed. “Aw hell no,” Jessica snapped. “I am not going to a Valentine’s Day party with Wufei Chang.”

“Not to mention Heero Yuy,” added Danie.

“It won’t kill you!” James countered.

“Yes it will!” Danie and Jessica shot back.

James sighed. He had forgotten how difficult Jessica and Danie Thomas could be in accord. But he liked the idea and was not going to back down. At the same time, neither were they.

“Maybe we can compromise,” James suggested.

Jessica leaned forward diplomatically. “Alright. What do you suggest?”

“You can go as yourselves—but, to keep a mysterious air, you have to wear masks.”

Pause. A slight silence.

“Fine with me,” Jessica said. “Just as long as Wufei and I aren’t dates.” She promptly shuddered as the others muttered similar sentiments.

“Whatever you say, Jessica.” James folded his hands on the desk top and addressed the girls as one with an easygoing smile. “Just remember ladies–this is supposed to be fun.”

 * * *

 “ ‘Just remember ladies–this is supposed to be fun!’ “

The girls laughed for the fifth time that night at Danie’s rendition at James Harper’s last words to them. They were all crowded into the living room at the Tiger House, and if you squinted hard enough, it looked like a brothel, sans the men.

“I don’t know if it’s possible for me to have fun,” Jessica admitted, pulling on a flesh-colored stocking. “I mean, Valentine’s Day is strictly a couple holiday.”

“I know!” Moira-Selene agreed. She was in the middle of putting on eyeliner and did it very quickly.

Danie rolled her eyes. “Yeah, Mo, but you’ve got Duo,” she pointed out. You’ve got a reason to be all happy and giddy and shit.”

“Danie!” Moira-Selene exclaimed, exasperated. Moira-Selene, in being her older sister, seemed to bother her about everything under the sun–including her right to free speech.

“Don’t get your panties in a bunch,” Danie muttered. “I was just playing.”

Danie got a yeah-right look from Moira-Selene. She simply ignored it and moved on.

“Did Trowa get you something, sis?” Samantha Dunne asked of Jennifer.

The blond-haired, blue-eyed Jennifer, who had been docilely and softly getting ready in the corner, quite love-stricken, glanced up at her sister with the beginnings of a blush creeping up on her face. “Um, he didn’t get me much. Roses, candy–the usual.”

There was a collective groan throughout the room. That statement was a bald lie; everyone in the room knew it, and Jennifer knew they knew it, too.

“Aw come on!” Jessica pressed. “He had to have gotten you something!”

Jennifer hesitated. “Well…he kinda gave me a necklace with all those roses and candy.”

And with that, the girls were gratified and envious. Samantha and Claudia shared what Danie would call a teenybopper glance. Danie herself and Jessica, too, just sighed and got back to getting ready.

Upon hearing their sigh, Moira-Selene frowned. “What’s up with the two of you?”

Jessica and Danie peered away from their makeup innocently. “What?”

Moira-Selene rolled their eyes. Oh goodness, she thought. They’re both hiding something.

“Is there something wrong with you two?” Samantha asked. “You’ve been acting weird, especially you, Danie.”

Danie was instantly indignant. She glared irately at Samantha. “How can you just assume that something is wrong with me?”

Gretchen snickered. “Because there always is.”

Danie glared at her. Titters of laughter broke out in the room.

“She has a point,” Jessica agreed. “You know me–I’m always weird about something.” She looked to Danie. “So what’s your excuse?”

“Excuse?!” Danie cried. “There’s nothing to be excused. It’s Valentine’s Day. I’m single. Doesn’t that give me a reason to be weird?”

There was a long interim after which Samantha muttered, “That still doesn’t explain the outfit you’re wearing.”

Danie sighed again and attempted to ignore her relatives. They were all crazy, trying to produce something out of nothing. Nothing was wrong with her.

Or was it?

 * * *

 Upon arriving at the Valentine’s Day ball at the Selenity Ballroom, Danie went straight for the champagne and remained there. She stood there watching the people dance by in their mock-Midsummer’s Night Dream wear, laughing and talking gaily. The room was embellished in vines and small lights with a Titania statue scrutinizing them by the stage. By the time the party had swung into its first hour, she had downed a whole bottle of white wine.

Being the big sister that she was, Jessica noticed this first. On Danie’s fifth glass, she promptly grabbed the glass and gave Danie a disapproving glare.

“I’m not going to even ask what’s wrong with you,” Jessica hissed. “So that means you’d better tell me right now.”

Danie, who was not as intoxicated as one was inclined to believe, frowned at Jessica. “I’m just trying to have fun is all.”

“By drowning yourself in a bottle of white wine?!”

Danie shrugged drunkenly. “Beats the hell out of watching Vanilla Sky for the millionth time.”

Jessica rolled her eyes as Danie cackled at her own stupid joke. Jessica seized her sister’s arm and pulled her toward the bathroom.

“Come on,” she ordered. “We’re getting you cleaned up.”

“Cleaned up?” Danie declared quizzically. The alcohol was taking its effect now. She stumbled a little as Jessica led her out and away from everyone else. “But there’s nothing to clean up!”

As Jessica and Danie vanished from sight, a mysteriously dressed woman came wading through, standing where Danie had inconsolably drank five glasses of white wine. People didn’t notice her as she silkily moved around the table; she was invisible like the ghost of Cupid. After looking around once, she poured a clear liquid into Danie’s drink, flicking her wrist skillfully and almost imperceptibly. The drink fizzled for a moment, then cleared as if nothing had happened.

 * * *

 On the other side of the room wearing a mask and his usual glare under it was Heero Yuy, wishing that he could blow this whole thing off—literally, that is—and call it a night. Unfortunately, due to the persuasion of his little sister, there was nothing left to do but sit there or get clubbed to death by a pregnant woman.

He observed the room dubiously. Everyone seemed to be having a decent time—that is, everyone except him. Somehow even Wufei had struck a conversation with some admirers without being annoying. And of course, Duo and Trowa were with their girlfriends, playing the part of the starry-eyed romancer. The mere thought of doing such an act made Heero frown.

From beside him, Crystilline Yuy-Winner frowned also. She stared upon her big brother fretfully. Never had she seen him acting so bizarre. Sure he had always been strange, but his behavior that night had been especially weird. He was watching the crowd as if searching for someone very earnestly. And as far as Crys knew, there would be nothing or no one worth looking for.

Or was it…?

“I’m going to get a drink,” Heero said simply, adjusting his mask. Crys’s frown deepened as he began to weave his way to the table, peering out from behind his mask.

“You’re not going to stay here?”

Heero gave her that frequent and infamous Yuy glare. “I’d rather not, thank you.”

Crys raised a suspicious eyebrow. “You’re not leaving are you?”

“No.”

Crys grabbed his arm before he could disappear. She looked deeply into eyes identical to hers, trying to find any trace of defiance. There wasn’t any.

“Are you telling me the truth?”

Heero didn’t blink or hesitate. “Yes. Can I go now?”

In reply, Crys released him. He glanced back at her once, leaving her to worriedly speculate. A part of her knew what he was looking for and was not surprised. It was relieved to see that it had finally happened to Heero.

 * * *

 Meanwhile, the mysterious woman watched intently as Heero made it to the bar where his destiny stood. She had somehow figured that something would lead Heero Yuy to go get a drink at the same moment Daniella Thomas would be returning to hers. At first, a slight glance passed between them, amounting to nothing consequential since they were both wearing masks. All of a sudden, they both drank from their glasses—Danie, slowly, and Heero, quickly, leaving nothing behind.

Hmm… Danie did nothing at first. She seemed oddly quiet, searching for a person who could have been right beside her. She took a step forward to join the lovers’ quagmire. Instantly, as if being shot in the back, Danie tripped in mid step and fell ungraciously, unceremoniously into Heero’s arms.

The mysterious woman smiled. Now the spectacle was about to begin.

 * * *

 When the masked woman had fallen into his arms, Heero didn’t know how to react. A part of him wanted to just snap at this woman for invading his space. The other part of him, however, wanted to hold her close and make sure she was alright…

“Watch where you’re going.” The first part of him prevailed, obviously.

“Sorry,” responded a low-pitched female voice. The masked woman stood and righted herself. The way her dark hair was styled and her off-the-shoulder, low-cut dress complimented her slender body reminded him of some heavenly figure.

At that moment, a strange thing occurred. Heero actually found himself staring into this stranger’s eyes and liking the fallen sensation. Little by little, he felt as if his steel wall was being eaten away by some unknown chemical. As his world became fuzzy at the edges, his other self started to prevail.

The next thing he knew, he was asking the mystery girl to dance with him. When they were done, they were outside in the memorial garden, playing lovers under the stars.

 

* * *

 “Is that all?”

Quatre smiled a little and continued. “Not by a long shot. According to Heero, something happened in the garden.”

Danie tried to rack her brain. She remembered drinking too much and waking up in her own bed, still in the eye-grabbing dress she had worn the night before. But she didn’t recall a garden. As a matter of fact, she didn’t even see Heero that night…

“Tell me what happened,” Danie pleaded.

“Well, this is how Heero told it to me…”

 * * *

 The Selenity Memorial Gardens were exceedingly splendid at night. Because of the atmosphere of love and romance, many people snuck back there to make out and share private moments. The music seemed to diminish slowly as Heero and his mystery woman walked to the gazebo hidden in the trees.

Faintly, Heero wondered why he was here. After all, if he had been in his right mind, this woman would have been brushed away without a second thought and he would have returned to his spot by his sister. But there was something about her… There was a familiarity in her movements and mannerisms that intrigued him. As she sat down on the steps leading to the gazebo, he was attracted to her like a magnet and perched beside her.

Several moments passed before anything happened. Heero watched her pluck a rose from a bush beside her. She fingered it gingerly, but couldn’t keep away from a hidden thorn. She prickled her index finger and winced.

“Ouch,” she murmured.

Heero instantly leaned forward to help. “Here,” he said softly. “Let me see it.”

She dubiously gave him her hand, finger extended. He examined the wound, finding that it wasn’t severe, and then lifted her finger to his mouth. Her light eyes peered on as he gently bit on the wound, stopping the bleeding. After a moment, however, he found himself more or less not biting it, but savoring it with his tongue.

His mystery girl swallowed and gently pulled her finger away.

“That was quite forward,” she commented.

Heero stared at her. “In a way, I’m inclined to be.”

There was a presumptuous lilt to his voice, almost too faint to be noticed. He didn’t mean for it to be there; it sort of happened. Much to his surprise–and delight–the woman laughed lightly.

“Actually, I like being forward,” she admitted. She pulled him forward by his hands. She wrapped his arms around her, and her own hands were around his neck, drawing him near. Their faces were very close, almost an inch apart. For a moment, Heero found the face and the eyes oddly familiar.

Then he closed his eyes and accepted her lips as he did her finger, which were just as sweet.

Their fervent kiss seemed to never end. Heero hungrily kissed her soft lips, wanting to never stop, wanting to never leave the rose-scented garden. This was a part of him he had never known, a part of him he had kept hidden. Now it was causing him to caress the woman’s torso and hair almost lovingly.

For a moment he hesitated. Was this right? It had to be. Something led them out there to be together. Fate couldn’t be wrong…could it?

By the time the moon had rolled out of sight, leaving them in shadow, Heero’s black bow tie was discarded; a couple of shirt buttons glowed in the grass in the moonlight, forgotten. Her already low-cut dress was drooping precariously, showing off a little too much skin and the telltale lace of a strapless bra. And somehow, the masks were still on.

“Who are you?” the woman breathed.

Heero bowed his head to kiss her neck. “Just think of me as your Prince,” he said in an undertone, breath warm on her bare skin.

“Prince,” she repeated. “I’m your Princess.”

Heero continued to peck at her neck. “Yes. My Princess.”

His mystery woman relaxed and let him kiss her. He liked the control, being able to lead and not follow. As the turmoil in his insides reached its frenzy, she uttered a soft sigh and something that sounded like three precious little words, then went unconscious, pitching backward while still cradled in his tender arms.

 * * *

 “My goodness…” Danie’s face was slightly bloodless. She could not believe what she was hearing, not one bit.

“It’s true,” Quatre told her. “How do you think you got into your bed that night?”

Heero… Danie shook her head wordlessly. This was still too unbelievable. How could she and Heero have done something so clandestine, so…

“There’s something I have to give you,” Quatre said, interrupting her thoughts. As he walked to his desk drawer and produced an envelope, she frowned. “It’s from Heero,” he added.

“Heero?” Danie’s heart palpitated. “What is it?”

Quatre fingered the envelope’s edge before speaking. “Well, when he had deposited you off at your apartment, he quickly went back to the mansion where he had been temporarily staying and wrote this, well, I guess you could call it a journal entry. It’s more like a confession.”

He passed her the envelope. She opened it cautiously, dimly afraid of what she would find. There was a piece of lined paper inside, filled with dark ink. She unfolded it and read sluggishly.

 

 I wish I knew what happened to me. I still can’t explain it; it has to be something supernatural. I couldn’t have…no…not willingly. I didn’t just go out into that garden and…no…not to her. Not with her. It can’t be. They were right, those whispers…

I can’t allow this to happen. I can’t weaken. I can’t let her get under my skin and tear me apart. She’ll love me and leave me just like she does the others…

I don’t know what got into me. I still don’t know. Something made me take her finger…something made me lean forward…something made me kiss her…but why? Could it be right? Could it be that I was meant to take her, to have her for my own to hold and to keep for the rest of my life? And what would have happened if she hadn’t lost consciousness? Would we have…?

The worst part is, a part of me feels appeased, like this was meant to happen. I wanted to love her, I wanted to kiss her, I wanted to hold her and whisper on the soft skin of her heavenly neck… No…I can’t think like this…she and I…it’ll never happen…but somehow I can’t forget the look in her violet eyes… Could it have been she craving me as much as I was craving her?

It can’t be. No…we are not meant to be. I don’t deserve her. She’s who she is but she’s still not me…the Forbidden Angel. She has her innocence. I will not take it away. I may be a man but…I am still Death. I am not supposed to be troubled with the strange inconveniences of love.

I will never succumb to her again. Never. From this moment on, I will be ALONE.

 

 After reading the last line, Danie began to cry. It was sad in a way; he had made this vow to himself and was not able to keep it. Even more, he was about to refuse her outright. The next night she could vividly remember. They had been locked in a closet at the Auditorium when she admitted she liked him. And funnily enough… “I wish there was something I could say, Danie.” Quatre suddenly spoke, breaking off her thoughts again. “I mean, this must be all very strange for you.”

“Yes,” Danie agreed, “but in a way I feel relieved.” She refolded the letter and stuck it back in the envelope.

At that moment, something else fell out of the envelope and into Danie’s lap. She frowned and unfolded it. The handwriting was still the same, except that this time, it was addressed solely and specifically to her.

  

Danie (My Princess),

If you are seeing this right now, you have probably read the other thing I wrote. I know how much that hurt you, and I just wanted to say that I am so happy and relieved that I didn’t stick to that vow I made. When I think about it, that night opened up the door for us. I will dream about it and enjoy the recollection of your words and kisses. I hope you can remember, too, and feel that that night actually meant something to me.

 

I love you,
Heero (Your Prince)

 P.S.: Happy Valentine’s Day, Danie.

  

Danie smiled through her tears at the last line. “Well, you can never underestimate Heero’s prediction ability,” she commented delicately, wiping away tears.

“Do you remember?” Quatre asked her.

Danie paused for a moment. That particular night didn’t come back to her, but something else did. It had been a quick moment on their wedding night that had been totally useless until that moment. The words came rushing to her, Heero’s voice coming in a rush of breath and erratic, impure Japanese.

“Oh Danie… My princess… We finally have…”

Danie’s eyes widened.

So it’s true. It did happen.

“Yes,” Danie responded. “I remember.”

 * * *

 Meanwhile, in a place considerably far away, a hunched figure sat on a rock, staring out at the blazing yellow sun. The figure had dark brown hair ruffled and blue eyes that explored. He was wearing nothing but a pair of pants and that shirt she had always liked. Yes, that shirt with the sleeves cut off, showing off his muscled arms. She had told him that it made him look sexy, despite his expression. That, she had also insisted, in some way made him look even more devilish.

Devilish……death. He sighed. He didn’t need to be reminded of that on this day; it was a special day like Christmas and Thanksgiving and their anniversary and her birthday. There was no need for it to be marred with that sort of mental trouble.

There was a letter in his hands. It was getting dirty at the edges where he had held it, but that didn’t keep him from reading it religiously, repeatedly. He could remember it by heart, recite it aloud, recall the scent that came with it.

Snatches of the letter came to him, her voice in his mind. Dear My Love… I wish I didn’t have to write this… I wish this didn’t have to happen to us… I want to wake up next to you every day and lie down beside you every night…

He clenched his eyes shut, holding back the force that guided his tear ducts. He promised himself that he would not permit himself to do that. He would stay strong with the letter as his motivation. He would get through this day without…doing that.

More swirly script and lulling cadences filled his brain. Just remember–you have me, mind, soul, and body…and…I’ll miss you and your love. He swallowed. Our love.

Our love… Like a key opening a locked door, the words seemed to crack his resolve. His eyes flew open. His vision blurred; the sun setting in front of him was nothing but a quagmire of warm colors that reminded him of her melodious murmurs.

He cursed under his breath. An abrupt wetness. There it was—on his cheek.

No! I will not…

A single tear fell onto his palm, gleaming wickedly under his golden wedding band in the descending sunlight, and once again, he had abandoned another promise he’d made to himself.